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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you get too much sun exposure in Switzerland? You get a sun *Bern.*"
Next Joke
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hitler."
"What do you call a valley girl giving a blowjob for louis vuittons? Head over heels"
"I'm glad you all tweeted mean stuff at me because I've changed my mind. On everything! Congrats! You did it!"
"Translator: We changed the Bible verses forbidding happy marriage to say gay marriage. King James: Same thing, what could possibly go wrong?"
"eer booze and fun!' 'A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies ""Sorry we don't serve food here""."
"me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice"
"Why are there so many old people in Church? They're cramming for the final."
"why are black people so tall? because their knee grows"
"[my fitness dvd] ME: *lifting cans of soup as weights* im using minestrone but you can use pretty much any kind"