102409

Joke of the Day

"You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way? It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane."

"Love is like a cup of hot coffee on a rainy day... It gets cold really fast."

"My father used to say ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" **BECAUSE WOMEN WILL DESTROY YOU.**"

"I knew someone that was frozen to absolute zero once. He was 0K."

"Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic? Because he enjoys living in denial."

"The best place to have a third nipple is on the palm of your hand so when you shake hands with someone you can sue for sexual harassment."

"[drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to your already heavy workload."

"Why is the fridge shaking so much? It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!"

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!"