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Joke of the Day
"What kind of sex does a priest have? Nun."
Next Joke
"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."
"How does a orphan change a light bulb? They grab the stack of un-signed adoption papers, stand on top of them, then proceed to change the light bulb."
"So this Roman guy... This Roman guy walks into a Tavern, raises two fingers and yells, 'five beers please!'"
"The phrase ""watching paint dry"" should be replaced with ""listening to people talk about brewing their own beer."""
"I'm all for people, places, and things. I guess you could say I am pronouns."
"SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy"
"I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them. They seemed to either love them or hate them."
"Rectangle? It nearly KILLEDtangle. ...I could totally write for kids' shows."
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