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Joke of the Day

"SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy"

"How to piss off a female archaeologist... Hand her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck."

"How come when someone says ""we need to talk"" it's never about ice cream or Star Wars?"

"Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming."

"When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all ""Nice to meet you. Big fan""."

"what do u call a native guy with one leg not even"

"Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time."

"Case In Court After The Jasleen Kaur Case He argued... She argued... . . . . He shouted... She shouted... . . . . .. and then she cried...... . . . . Result: She won by Duckworth-Lewis method !!"

"I dressed up as a coprophiliac Taurus to the Halloween party, but got kicked out because apparently it was ""indecent."" Bull-fucking-shit."