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Joke of the Day

"Why does Helium go up? Because the floors Argon."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"

"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"

"If his selfie doesn't make you kegal, you're just not that into him."

"What do you call a bad circumcision? A rip off.."

"I told Cheryl Cole I was taking her to Scandinavia for a weeks holiday. ""Norway?"" ""No, I'm serious."""

"Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'"

"I'm taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed."

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"Why Can't You Play UNO With Mexicans? They keep stealing the goddamn green cards."