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Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower."

"So I think we have pretty much covered what to do if life gives you lemons"

"how to you put a big buffalo in a freezer???? ZZZZzzzzz dont think it cannot happen just say NO"

"Thom Yorke's phone thinks someone is listening in on its calls... ...delusional iPhone."

"What do you call? What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in the mouth"

"Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear. Now it can ride a bike without training wheels."

"Beauty is only a light switch away. That is all."

"Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world?"

"What do you call a disabled nun? Virgin mobile"

"9/11 was an inside job ""But the planes were outside!"""