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Joke of the Day

"Why did the climate scientist cross the road? To analyze the chicken s carbon footprint."

"The NSA doesn't monitor your browsing Chuck Norris listens to your key strokes."

"Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough, you can neither drive nor shut the hell up."

"For my birthday, I got a Rolex from my lesbian neighbor. I think she misunderstood me when I told her I wanna watch."

"*logs into Facebook *looks at pictures of people hugging their boyfriends *comments 'is that your dad' on all of them *logs out of Facebook"

"How is a Jew like a new pair of eyeglasses? They're both tight in the temples."

"Did you hear about the guy who broke 17 world records while sitting on a pastry? He's on a roll!"

"I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house. Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity."

"I hate church I hated church when I was a child, with all the standing and kneeling and sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"What does a black man get after sex? 15 years - life in prison."