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Joke of the Day

"why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt. Stay safe tonight everyone!"

"Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming."

"How is the Easter Bunny like Shaquille O'Neal? They're both famous for stuffing baskets!"

"I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off."

"Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering where the word etymology came from..."

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"Need some adultish-humor. I have a girl I like, and I want to make her laugh. What are the best jokes you guys can think of to make a dirty-minded teenage girl laugh?"

"[hospital] ""We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach."" ""Is that bahahaad?"" ""Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."""

"If Bruce Wayne was Jewish, would he have had a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah?"

"I've haven't made up my mind on masturbation... ...on one hand it feels good."