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Joke of the Day
"I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off."
Next Joke
"The coal industry has been under a lot of pressure to change In other news, the diamond industry continues to grow."
"My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it."
"A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar... the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'"
"Q: Did you hear about the Blonde who got a pair of water-skis? A: She's still looking for a lake with a slope."
"Big bad wolf says to LittleRedRidingHood: Ho-ho-ho - I'm going to eat you all up! LittleRedRidingHood says: ""Eat, eat, eat. Doesn't anyone wanna fuck anymore?"""
"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"
"Latvian man walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, ""Why so long face?"" Latvian say, ""I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."""
"*in-flight announcement* A SNICKERS IS JUST A MARS BAR WITH PEANUTS *struggling noises* PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KN-"
"My girlfriend lost all her hair during chemotherapy and she was crying for hours. I said, ""Why are you so upset? It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend."""