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Joke of the Day

"Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got two tickets to the Cuckold Convention? His wife ended up taking someone else."

"I hit some kid riding a skateboard today, on the way to work. On a lighter note, I'm selling a lightly used skateboard."

"Magician: ""Think of a number."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""Are you thinking of a number?"" Me: ""Yes."" *the crowd goes wild with applause*"

"What do you call a single Mexican man? No bae Jose"

"People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?"

"thinking about eating a lot of candy. which i have obtained legaly, through the trick or treat system, for many years"

"Donald Trump isn't the candidate the Republicans need, he's the candidate they deserve. (as punishment for all the stuff they've done over the last eight years)"

"IF I WIN THE LOTTERY MY CATS ARE GETTING GOLD TEETH AND CANOPY BEDS"

"My drug dealer cracks me up."