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Joke of the Day
"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem."
Next Joke
"If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf."
"How do you know if a woman is hot for you? When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse."
"How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget? The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring."
"""1. Roll around in bed for a few hours. 2. Get kind of dressed. 3. DON'T EAT!"" - to do list for American Apparel models"
"My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them"
"Walked in lecture hall mid-lecture and the professor yells ""CAN I HELP YOU?!"" ""No thanks, I'm just browsing."""
"""How about a scarf?"" - Johnny Depp's stylist every day."
"What happened to the gay dude whose lover kicked him out his house? He is Homoless"
"Why was the necrophiliac depressed? His rotten girlfriend split on him."