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Joke of the Day

"How do you know if a woman is hot for you? When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse."

"Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many."

"Detective: Did your husband have any enemies, ma'am? Wife: Well, the cat next door never really liked Jim, and that always seemed a bit odd."

"hi and welcome to hidden chair club. please find your seat"

"I once heard from Stalin that dark humor is like food... Not everybody gets it."

"After writing Revelations, John ask God... ""Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"" ""*No, by Trump/Pence.*"" ""Right, so trumpets."" ""*Fuck it, they'll figure it out.*"""

"What did the black guy get on his SATs? BBQ sauce."

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're gods way of making us slap ourselves."

"What do Mexicans play at their funerals? Another Juan Bites The Dust"