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Joke of the Day

"I'll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex. Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you What is a picnic? Correct!"

"Why can't two even numbers be together? The odds are against them."

"*guy collapses* ICE CREAM MAN: does anyone know CPR DOCTOR:*looks at ice cream cones in both his hands, looks up, then slowly walks away*"

"Did you hear about the new Voat mobile app? It's called Reddit Was Fun."

"Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering."

"How does every Black joke start?... By looking over your shoulder"

"If I had a time machine I'd go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the shit out of people with an electric toothbrush."

"Why did Helen Keller scream? Her parents left the plunger in the toilet."

"I'm home alone eating donuts and listening to Journey. I think I can stop believin' now."

"Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat's medication."