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Joke of the Day

"Friend: You know that country song that goes- Me: No."

"So if multiple cactus is cacti... NSFW Would a cat (animal) be cat-i?"

"I almost got my fingers stuck in my cheese grater. It's one of my greater fears."

"Doctor Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off. Oh dear that's a lot of calories!"

"Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body? *flashes back to ex *shudders"

"An Irish man walks into a bar. ."

"Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you."

"Chicks can only stay at their boyfriend's place for about 3 days, then they finally need to go home and use the toilet."

"What is the difference between a pregnant lady and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb"

"When the smog clears over Los Angeles... ... U.C.L.A. I am not at all sorry for this joke. Edit: So at some point I went from 20 to 923 upvotes. I regret not checking this sooner."