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Joke of the Day

"The most determined look I've ever seen on a human being is the airline passenger trying to fit a large suitcase in a small overhead bin."

"What does a monk say when you evict him? Namaste"

"I've recently obtained a book on the guidelines of masturbation So far, I've stuck to it."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot.. A carrot"

"Went to my niece's elementary school field day last week. I won every single event. Every. Single. Event."

"Roses are brown, Violets are brown.. Who the fuck took a shit in my garden?"

"On your own, it's just near impossible to scrub your own back which is why a shower wall made entirely of loofah would really come in handy."

"Wanna hear a joke about iron? I'd tell you but there's a Fe."

"What do you call a German virgin? Guttentight."

"Two avocados were crossing the road... .. One got hit by a truck so the other one said: Come on, guacamole, catch up!"