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Joke of the Day

"I think my professor might not know my name. He keeps on correcting it with the word ""Late"" on all my papers."

"I can't prove it, but from the sound of it, I'm pretty sure there's an injured dolphin stuck in my dishwasher."

"Everyone done keeping calm yet?"

"dirty minds Hey sexy shut the door, drop your pants, climb on top of me, and satisfy your needs. love always your Toilet."

"Three mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"

"On the topic of Transformers ""Have you guys seen the new toys? They've changed too much! They were so much better when we were little!"" ""...Transformers are supposed to change"""

"*draws a line in the sand* *looks at the line in the sand* *decides that it might be time to vacuum*"

"Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well."

"Cop: [knocks] Dinosaur: can I help you? Cop: we've had reports of small arms fire [Flaming T-Rex runs past screaming]"

"There were 5 peanuts walking down the street... ...and one was assaulted...peanut."