101861

Joke of the Day

"Be on the lookout for a armed psychic midget who just robbed a bank and got away....the police now have a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE!! ba dum dum"

"Playing the long game. some months back I planted lettuce in my garden. yesterday I was making dinner and asked my girlfriend to go pick some lettuce. she said ""why?"" I said ""just Cos"" ba dum tisssssh"

"If you're American when you enter the bathroom, and American when you exit the bathroom, what are you while you're IN the bathroom? European."

"Who said ""Shiver me timbers!"" on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew."

"Healthcare Costs in America"

"I love watching the wife sleep. Not so much the husband."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your moms throat!"

"Probably drank too much coffee this morning. Probably drank too much. Probably too much coffee. Drank too much. Coffee. Probably."

"Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex"

"Why did the Red sea not find a good husband? because she was too shallow."