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Joke of the Day

"What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common? Using imperial units."

"If we have sex in the dark, there's a 50% chance that I'll put it in the wrong hole and a 100% chance that I did it on purpose."

"Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy? A Muslim"

"Why did the female war reenactors need to throw away their costumes? Because they weren't period-appropriate!"

"How can tell your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Summing up my life in 5 words: 'I fail at maths'"

"I went to the zoo the other day. It was completely empty except for a single dog... It was a Shih Tzu."

"I'm going to name my son Glove Being handy will come to him naturally"

"The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't."

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell? A hum dinger !"