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Joke of the Day

"What's Bill Cosby's favourite dessert? Puddin. Puddin his dick inside her"

"[on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim"

"Obviously, Mario Kart is not a documentary. It's a dramatization of real events."

"What do you do if you see a space man? Park your car man."

"I got a little ass last night!... My finger went through the toilet paper!"

"Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House."

"So I was driving home from work tonight, I saw a woman texting whilst driving. It infuriated me so much I threw my beer bottle at her car."

"Why does homemade bread not make your throat itch? It's made from scratch ^*NB ^OP ^is ^heckle-proof*"

"I changed my password to ""incorrect"" So when I forget it my computer will tell me ""your password is incorrect"""

"If I lived in medieval times I'd get laid a lot because ""Would dost thou enjoy my penis shoved into thine lady parts? sounds fucking classy."