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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back? (_) ( _)>- (_) A Reptile Dysfunction."
Next Joke
"Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma."
"""I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition,"" my doctor said. ""Woah, woah, woah, doc,"" I replied. ""Let's not make any rash decisions."""
"My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor."
"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from local zoo."
"What did the really ugly man do for a living? He posed for Halloween masks."
"How do you find Will Smith in a blizzard? You just track the fresh prints. Sorry if its a repost I just heard it."
"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"
"They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to the 6 million Jews. ~ Jimmy Carr."
"For just 2 quarters a day, you can send 2 quarters a day to African children. African children love collecting quarters."