195671

Joke of the Day

"How do you find Will Smith in a blizzard? You just track the fresh prints. Sorry if its a repost I just heard it."

"Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer? He wanted someone who understood *capitals* and *lower* case."

"New cardboard AIDS test if your skin is darker than a piece of cardboard you probably have AIDS."

"I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said ""open cap and push up bottom"". Now I can't walk but my farts smell awesome."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's big and heavy, the other's a little lighter."

"My trainer told me she's sick of me pretending to be a detective. I hit her with a Thunderbolt and locked her in her own Pokeball."

"Just spoke to my mom. Unrelated: Anyone want to have unprotected anal?"

"I find myself addicted to this website just like my Father before me. Guess why that is? It's He*reddit*tary."

"What did the velociraptor say after his workout? I'm a little dino-sore."

"Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals."