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Joke of the Day

"What do Americans call the summer holidays? Ceasefire"

"What did the German brat say to his father? You're the wurst!"

"Jeffery Dahmer Did you know Jeffery Dahmer used to cut off his victims noses, put them on pizza and eat them? He called it Dahmer-nose pizza."

"I read that burglars use Twitter & Facebook to see when people arent home. So from now on, Im at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes"

"A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up."

"Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect."

"I have a rare muscle disease that causes my hands to write racist things that I don't remember later. The Doctor is calling it Ron Palsy"

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?"

"Why does Bill Clinton prefer B.J.s? Because he hates Costco."