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Joke of the Day

"Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers! Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect."

"My personal assistant is an African American named Barry. But I just call him BlackBarry."

"What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card? I love the pokey, mon."

"Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent."

"Say what you will about Vlad the Impaler He was one hell of a proctologist."

"What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes? Vans of der Waals"

"Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application."

"What did the ghost say on December 25th? Scary Christmas!"

"New rule: Confederate States don't get to pick who sings ""God Bless America"". We'll fly someone in from up north."

"I was so happy to hear Apple added a new camera feature.. With the addition of panorama I can finally send dick pics to my ex wife!!"