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Joke of the Day
"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter they don't have any power."
Next Joke
"I've never hated a neighbour enough to get wind chimes."
"Handmade things always seem to sell for extra. Apparently that doesn't apply to semen."
"When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know... to send a message."
"a fun pastime in America is driving teenage starlets into utter madness and then enjoying a hearty laugh afterwards"
"How do you measure the molar mass of guacamole? With Avocado's Constant."
"I went on a date with a girl who said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I strapped her in the back of my Mercedes and drove into a wall."
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing."
"I've been known to drive women crazy with my tongue. *never shuts the hell up*"
"Yo mama so fat Every photo from family gathering is her self-portrait."