202708

Joke of the Day

"[creation] GOD: Let's name some of you bugs FLY: Me first! GOD: Okay...Fly FLY: Hell yeah! BUTTERFLY: Now me! GOD: Hmm...Butterfly FLY: Sonuvab-"

"Accidentally walked into the women's bathroom, went ahead and peed sitting down so it wouldn't be awkward for anyone."

"Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives? Because everyone always left them hanging!"

"Call a beautiful women, beautiful she will never remember Call a Fat Women Fat and She will never forget, because elephants never forget"

"I wonder if the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooter had a Plan B?"

"For those who can't eat their vegetables bc of the wheelchair: There IS a chocolate shake with every one, all you have to do is pull out the straw. Edit: a word"

"How did they keep the pilot out of the cockpit? With an Allahu Lockbar."

"I know what a bird can do that you can't. Whistle through its pecker."

"What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe"

"Poker is like sex... If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand"