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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, the suppositories you prescribed for me are horribly bitter! -- Have you been ... eating them? -- No, I've been shoving them up my ass!"

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made it round and laughed and laughed and laughed"

"I gave up my seat for a blind man on the bus today That's how I lost my job as a bus driver"

"What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Dam"

"The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!"

"I always wanted to marry a girl with nice big melons... Too bad she cantalope :("

"For my niece's 7th birthday, I'm filling a pinata with a smaller pinata. When she breaks it open I'm gonna yell ""Oh God! She was pregnant!"""