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Joke of the Day

"I always wanted to marry a girl with nice big melons... Too bad she cantalope :("

"Nothing better than hearing that a couple who comments on each other's Facebook statuses broke up."

"I met a woman at happy hour... She had a tattoo on her bikini line. It was a picture of a conch shell. She said ""If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean""."

"Straight Outta Compton Beat the Crap Out of Trainwreck at the Box Office This Weekend But then again Dr. Dre is no stranger to beating women."

"I went outside for a minute and a bug touched me, so it looks like I'm back inside forever now."

"Cat was like, ""I've been trying to call you all day. 8888888888888888888888888884. That's you, right?"""

"My girlfriend asked me who I've been having sex with because my penis was so sensitive...... My hand"

"How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001."

"Oxygen and Magnesium are going out OMg!!"

"10 bucks says when Dora grows up, she's gonna be a drug mule."