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Joke of the Day

"What's does America and programming have in common? When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up."

"I had Taco Bell for lunch AND dinner. So yes. I've given up on life."

"INTERVIEWER to job applicant: ""Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?"""

"Spiderman's villain should just be a glass jar and a piece of paper."

"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"Being a parent means enthusiastically clapping for a lot of mediocre stuff. It's like being a Coldplay fan."

"I told my psychiatrist that I believe I have the power to detect Indian bread for miles around. He said that's naan-sense."

"When women cry, their faces look like half-chewed Starbursts."

"I went to a drag race yesterday It's amazing how fast men can run in heels."