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Joke of the Day

"What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!"

"If USB ports could talk, they'd only ask one question. Is it in yet?"

"Giant methane storm on Uranus. It just a really bad fart."

"Xanax, keeping moms from dropping their kids off at an orphanage since 1981."

"My wife just left me because of my fetish with pasta I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"What did the father lightning bolt do to his son when he miabehaved? He grounded him."

"Ate a bag of Sun chips and now I need 300 stitches in my mouth"

"Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a faulty battery and caused their house to burn down"

"I bought my kids electric toothbrushes because it was taking too long to splatter toothpaste all over the bathroom w/the regular toothbrush."