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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when it's not actually awkward, but just sort of a general observation about everyday life."

"Girl Monster 1: ""I hear you've met the perfect guy."" Girl Monster 2: ""Oh yes he's a bad dream come true!"""

"Unless you are wearing live crocodiles on your feet that you have beaten into submission, I care not for your Crocs."

"My dad just told me I should ""stop wasting my life and do something meaningful"" Dad jokes, am I right?"

"A nice pick-up line I made up Hey are you from Brazil? Because I'm trying to score with you seven times."

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know, I amputated your arms!"""

"I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago..."

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird."

"What do the janitors clean the Reddit office with? Derpentine."

"If you feel like you're going through a rough patch, just remember that it only lasts through adulthood."