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Joke of the Day

"I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago..."

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"What is the difference between paint and a midgets' underpants? When you sniff paint, you get high"
"In 1828 Franz Schubert was buried next to Beethoven... They wanted to decompose together."
"My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, ""Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"""
"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? NINE!"
"How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor."
"What do you call a selfless pastrami? Pastramyou"
"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""
"A scotsman walks out of a bar It could happen."
"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."