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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour tells me that he's poured a trail of spiced wine all the way from my house to his. But when I go outside to check... There isn't a punch line."

"Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her car? She burned her mouth on the exhaust."

"Acquaintances: ""So what have you been up to?"" What I hear: ""Please explain yourself, we're trying to figure you out."""

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"My wife just woke me up to tell me... Wait. June is over? You must be... JULYing."

"I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing ""Danger Zone"" six times in a row... ...they told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts"

"Why does Karl Marx like stormy days? There are no classes."

"Q: What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A: Rhesus Pieces."

"In honor of easter, here's a joke my French teacher put on the board last week. Easter is a bonne idee."

"What do eggs say when they're turnt? Omelette, fam"