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Joke of the Day

"My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza."

"My doctor encouraged me to masturbate more often Well, he actually said I could have a stroke any time."

"Tried to unlock my door with a banana. How am I still alive?"

"Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"How did Jared lose 150lbs? He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed."

"Why did the Muslim man let the air out of his sex doll? So he could blow it up again."

"A facebook friend posted, ""I'm not ashamed of Jesus."" It took every single ounce of my willpower not to reply, ""Uh oh. What did he do now?"""

"What's the difference between a dog and a cyclist? When you run over a dog you don't have to go back and get the GoPro."

"if weird al is so popular now they should call him normal al. thats what i say on it"

"Relationship between men and women is psychological. She is psycho and he is logical."