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Joke of the Day

"HER: You promised me you were over your Bruce Willis obsession. ME: Sorry. Old habits die hard with a vengeance."

"Ugh just started writing a script for my screenwriting class & nicolas cage kicked down my door to say he wants the lead role. hes so sweaty"

"I like to move it move it You like to move it it"

"What do u call a bad jokester? Matteo"

"YOLO doesn't work for cats."

"K/D/A Stood for Kill, Death, Assist?! I thought it was short for Krillin's Dead Again!"

"*Someone sends me a 4 minute video* me: [42 seconds later] wow that's so awesome thanks for sharing!"

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 100 bucks back there""."

"I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then he put a black rubber ball in her mouth with a strap around her head I'm just telling you what I saw"

"My wife says I'm too nosy. At least that's what she said in her diary."