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Joke of the Day

"The Mob Hey, guess who has both thumbs and owes money to mafia. *Gestures towards self with thumbs* *Puts on a serious face* No one has both thumbs and owes money to the mafia."

"There once was a lady from Madrass... There once was a lady from Madrass Who had a magnificent ass Not pretty and pink as you may think But had long ears and ate grass. Credit: Playboy, circa 1970s"

"Why were there 600 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had 2 cars."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Tool Time Barbie ...ncludes tool belt which she has no idea what to do with"

"If you fall, I'll be there. --- the floor."

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"I was bored with my life, and wanted to change something. I changed my mind."

"Job interview: "" if you want the job lick the floor"" -what? -lick the floor if you want the job *licks floor* Eww gross, can't hire that guy"

"What do you call a fat man in a white t-shirt? A Man-in-a-tee."

"Comas make a big difference in your sentences. For example, -Ben is in a hurry -Ben is in a coma"