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Joke of the Day

"I get so many panic attacks, that If I was a wrestler my signature move would be 'The Chest Clutch', where I get pinned as I grab my chest."

"A woman is like a pool... You spend lots of money getting one, but you don't spend much time inside one ."

"I just ate a silica salt packet and I've been using a plastic bag as a toy because I live life on the motherfucking edge."

"The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller."

"What does this joke's punchline & a 50 foot penis have in common? You can see them coming from miles away."

"Fine! I do actually believe in a higher being.. His name is Jonathan and he's about 5 inches higher than me. That bastard."

"Thank god this election is over. .....I almost forgot what real commercials were like."

"hello 911 yes i touched wet food while doing the dishes i'd like to surgically remove my hand"

"Another MBA joke. funny! By the time you finish your MBA, you have most probably got one of these: new house, new job, new car or a new partner (Copied from Twitter @ManasBhardwaj)"

"Where does the thumb meet its type? At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!"