185311

Joke of the Day

"Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist ""LET'S GET DIVORCED"""

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere"

"I didn't give a f*ck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying f*ck."

"I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex It backfired... :("

"What do you call your female friend with tiny breasts? Your flatmate"

"Now taking pre-orders for my ""Running after the Ice Cream Truck"" fitness workout DVD."

"Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages."

"I'm a huge fan Well, I used to be... now I'm an air conditioner"

"Answer your phone, ""come in"" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond."

"Why did princess Diana cross the road? because she wasn't wearing a seat belt"