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Joke of the Day
"Where does Sean Connery keep his guns? In the library of course. They're for shelf-defense."
Next Joke
"I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your face up against my palm."
"If you make $200 an hour you can't complain that your employer is fucking you Because $200 an hour is a very reasonable rate for getting fucked."
"What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!"
"What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables? Lettuce pray they turnip."
"Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."
"What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds? Deez Nutz"
"Where do you send bad Russian cows? The Moolag"
"when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent"
"Just asked my wife what she's ""burning up for dinner"" and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings."