101379

Joke of the Day

"Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000."

"How do Asian's name their children? Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*"

"Stop, drop and roll if your clothes are on fire or if you spot your ex under the mistletoe."

"I RT a bunch of awesome stuff. nnBecause its funny. And I needed to hide my tweets from last night."

"Introducing 2017's newest best seller: A Million Little Fibers. Written by Melania Trump."

"She:Hey,Whats up? Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin'? M:Nutshells. S:Really?Fine.What's poppin? M:Corn. *Blocked*"

"911: What is your emergency? Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us."

"Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!"

"What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese"

"why are Americans like women? Because they always turn up late and take all the credit for winning the war"