20115

Joke of the Day

"She:Hey,Whats up? Me:Onion prices. S:You know what I mean,like What's crackin'? M:Nutshells. S:Really?Fine.What's poppin? M:Corn. *Blocked*"

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""

"""Can we have 'Punctuation Sex' tonight?"" I asked the wife. ""What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?"" she queried. ""It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."""

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"

"Just for once I wanna be able to explain after I say ""I can explain."""

"What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow."

"Talking testicles What did the right testlcle say to the left? Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard"

"Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his friend in the jungle? He got so excited, he threw up his arms!"

"What's it like to go down on an ewok? It's alright, they're just a little chewy."