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Joke of the Day

"Why are proteins so bad at poker? They always fold."

"CW:my husband doesn't understand me at all. What about yours? Me:I wouldn't know... I don't talk to him about you..."

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema"

"To make a long story short: Hamlet: Everyone dies Macbeth: Everyone dies Titanic: Everyone dies Twilight: You want to die"

"Apparently Bill Clinton is so sure that Hillary is going to win that he stopped at the tobacco store and bought a box of cigars. He has interviews scheduled for his new interns all day."

"A man asks his friend to stop telling animal puns. His friend says ""Sorry, it's a bad rabbit I have."""

"What's the oldest trick in the book? The first one."

"Why did the cheese get sent to the asylum? Coz 'e-mmental!"

"I told my friends I'm going on a date with a cute girl. They told me she's imaginary, but joke's on them, so are they."