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Joke of the Day

"At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die"

"The Sad Life A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Scots vs English Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards. Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf."

"Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke. If you let her have more she might suck it too."

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowomen Snovaries"

"If your wife says ""what would you do without me?"" ""Live happily ever after"" is NOT the correct answer."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choirboy."

"What do you call a Mexican midget lady? Cuntswaylow"

"Why is OP's mum like a bowling ball? Because she gets picked up, fingered and thrown down an alley then still comes back for more."