101123

Joke of the Day

"Here in the Middle East, we don't need any weed We have the Quran. Burning that shit will get your ass stoned."

"Why did little Johnny fall off the swing? ...he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike? Someone threw a fridge at her."

"My girlfriend is like the sun... She's bright, cheerful, and she goes down every night."

"Want to hear a good joke? Me too."

"Doctor doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks."

"A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin."

"Does anyone know which homeless shelters provide wifi?"

"My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat."

"My friend graduated in psychology with a 3.8 GPA I wish she'd stop telling me her life story and just give me my order of fries already."

"What did the kid who could see dead eskimos say? Icy dead people!"