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Joke of the Day

"All women want to be swept off their feet, until you push them into the sea. Dating is hard!"

"Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left Glutes ( )"

"A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas? Cancer!"

"I was thinking of hosting a gathering of celebrities where we make harsh jokes about honoree JLO's backside. Think of it as a rump roast."

"Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty."

"MY PARENTS NEVER BUY ME ANYTHING -Sent from iphone 6"

"What's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it."

"A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number"

"Fun tip - instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you're sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire."