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Joke of the Day

"A father bull and his son are standing on a hill. Overlooking the cows. The son says ""dad lets run down there and fuck a cow!"" The father bull says ""Son, lets walk down there and fuck em all."""

"Next on *Will it Blend?* Marijuana! ***Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*** *opens lid* ""Ahh, you can *definitely* breathe this."""

"I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester! Though I could have sworn the syllabus said ""Calculus 2""."

"A woman gets hit by a car... looks like she got to see how the Mercedes Benz"

"I accused the construction man for damaging my sidewalk. ""You are going to need concrete evidence if you want to prove me guilty"""

"Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y."

"I was told to do what I love I went to sleep."

"I hoped to be a mortgage some day... But it looks like I'm forever a loan."

"Want to get noticed? Go jogging without moving your arms."

"My friend who drowned just had his funeral the other day... We put a lifejacket on his coffin. It's what he would have wanted..."