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Joke of the Day

"Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum.. Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me.."

"A Blonde texts her friend A blonde texts her friend and asks ""what does IDK stand for?"" The friend replies ""I don't know"" The blonde texts back ""shit, no one seems to know"""

"What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ? A swine gut !"

"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"""Give me a positive adjective..."" ""Splendid."" ""Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?"" ""Splendidn't."""

"Game of Thrones would have had more seasons... But HBO didn't want it to dragon too long."

"Dark humor is like a kid terminally ill with cancer It never gets old"

"Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem"

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"