100975

Joke of the Day

"Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum.. Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me.."

"They said I'd never overcome my addiction to Phil Collins. &#x2669; But take a look at me nooooow &#x2669;"

"Why can't you tell when a Pterodactyl goes to the toilet Becuase the P is silent"

"You think God hates crosses? If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I'd be pissed."

"California is the best state. The nerds make the apps and the agents make the moving pictures. We keep the idiots happy. Give us your water."

"Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon? Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt..."

"What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo."

"I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously... Needless to say, I was shocked."

"There was a baby boy born at the hospital without eyelids. So the doctors circumcised him and used his foreskin as eyelids. He's doing fine, he is just a little cockeyed"

"I'm glad David married me for my brains. My glorius, perky, bouncy brains."