20017

Joke of the Day

"California is the best state. The nerds make the apps and the agents make the moving pictures. We keep the idiots happy. Give us your water."

"How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning? He ate a 10 year old wiener."

"If I could time travel, I'd make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things."

"I don't know when but there was a moment in my life when food changed from friend to lover."

"Why is your paper blank? Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D"

"Height of .... Height of Stupidity - Looking through the keyhole of a glass door.. Height of embarrassment - when you find other person looking through the other side of the same keyhole.."

"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."

"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!"

"ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby 3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend"

"Fire Marshal: So why did you shoot off the flare gun? Me: Well I was out of ranch and the waitress kept walking past my table."