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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear Lorain Labbobit died in a car accident last week? Some dick cut her off!"
Next Joke
"I'm an introverted republican... ...I guess you could call me an anti-socialist."
"what's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean!"
"If I moved to Britain right now, I could retire a wealthy man. My bank account has approximately 6,723 dollars in it, which would convert to like infinite British pounds."
"I hate it when strangers question me. I'm with my kid, & this lady goes, 'He's cute. Who does he look like?' I'm like, 'Your husband'"
"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud.. But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them."
"What do you call a loud group of Cowboys? A Reckon-ing."
"Because he always knew what the punchline would be. Why didn't the psychic laugh at any jokes?"
"A QA tester walks into a bar... and orders 1 beers and orders 5 beers and orders 9999 beers and orders -1 beers and orders foobar beers"
"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"