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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that the walrus has the second largest penis of all mammals? ........................... ........................... I have the first :) Stole it from 50 first dates."

"Did you know Jesus was gay? He was nailed by a bunch of guys."

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... ...but when she lost her virginity, it wasn't so much a case of deflowering as deforestation."

"I spent the whole of my day with my hand in my trouser pocket. Maybe that's why I kept feeling cocky."

"How do they make Holy Water? They boil the hell out of it."

"It must have been very risky for pirates to slightly burn all the edges of their treasure maps and then dip them in tea."

"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adolf ! Adolf who ? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth !"

"Did you hear about the new viking movie staring the guy who played Han Solo? It's called Harrison's Fjord"

"How do you organize a space party? You Planet."