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Joke of the Day
"How do they make Holy Water? They boil the hell out of it."
Next Joke
"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple food to the ceiling"
"I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'll be in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"
"Say what you want about paedophiles... ... at least they drive slowly through school zones."
"Went to the car wash and asked for one of those Brazilian wax jobs everyone's been talking about."
"[Meeting girlfriend's parents] Me: Well Mrs. Ashford, I can see where Elle gets her good looks! <Mr. Ashford sulks the rest of dinner>"
"I wonder what kids today are going to tell their kids. Yeah. it was rough back then. I didn't get a smartphone til 4th grade and sometimes the wifi didn't work upstairs.'"
"Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call."
"[Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family"
"What is the gayest food? Indian food. It tears your ass apart :("